Getting Comfortable With Change

25 March 2018

I am always struggling with keeping the sketching supplies that I lug out with me to a reasonable minimum. There was a time when I would take out two full size Julian French easels at once to do two paintings at the same time in different views of the same location. Those easels were HEAVY!! I was younger and probably had more stamina, but I was hardly ever satisfied with the results. I was hungry trying to learn. Enthusiastic and driven. I also had much more time than I do now.

Then overnight my eyesight got worse.

I was stubborn, and refused the reading glasses for probably several years. My sketching habit had dropped alarmingly. I could no longer enjoy it if I couldn’t see what I was doing.

I started to wear reading glasses, and although I could see close things better, it was very uncomfortable to navigate between over the glasses to see what I’m trying to draw to the page or canvas or board I’m trying to draw on.

It took a couple of years to become comfortable, with the right prescription for my  glasses, and my adaptation to my technique, the process began to become comfortable again.

It is still not easy navigating with eye glasses,but I decided that if I am not having fun with sketching, then I am wasting my time.

The past couple of years, I have been dealing with some life changing health issues that have forced me to put my career in music on hold.

Music is the main creative outlet that I have, and deciding to change careers mid-stream after a heart attack and bypass surgery was a difficult transition for me. I am no longer every night playing my instruments around the world with amazing musicians and friends, but now I am home with limited time and tools, and I still try to compose and record ideas that may or may not turn into something in the future.

If you are interested, I have uploaded some of the compositions I have been working on with limited time and tools. This will occasionally be updated.

music art color

Some of my ideas can be found here!

At the same time I have been working on improving my sketching technique by doing it as much as I can, which is sometimes not so easy when I am surrounded by non-sketching people.

If I want to improve, I have to practice, and if I don’t have as much time as I would like to practice, then I will have to alter my expectations. I will have to compromise, and find new solutions.

I have been recently sharing some of the music that I have been working on since my surgeries, and this music is an example of what I was able to create with a limited amount of time, space, and materials.

Sometimes, the few minutes I have for music creation gets used in a much more effective way than when there is more time. When there is more time the problems arise because I can endlessly struggle about what to do first, and languish with indecision and laziness until at the end of the day nearly nothing gets done.

When there is precious little time, setting up, plugging in, tuning and doing the first thing that comes to mind, not thinking about it, just doing something, not caring about the end result, at the end of the day there is something, at least. There’s something to be said for not thinking about it. I find that that going with the gut initial reaction can often get to the heart of the matter, it can get to a problem that at this point is in need of a resolution. Sometimes these resolutions or paths that can be taken come easily. Sometimes not. But now I have built a diving board.

I am discovering that sketching, for me, is coming from the same place. A place where a need to be creative knocks forcefully at my proverbial door.

One of the ways in which I alter my expectations is by realizing that I do not have a lot of time. I will go into this situation by just going for it. It’s easier for me to “just do it” by having my minimal tools at the ready, minimizing setup time.

Today I went to the bagel shop across the street taking my 4 X 6 Stillman and Birn Alpha Series hardcover sketchbook and drawing/painting tools.


W&N ‘Bijou’ with flask and cup, Series 1503 Kolinski travel brush size 6, Sailor Profit Fude fountain pen with Carbon Black, cut up towel I stole from the gym.




After a short visit to the bagel shop, I came home and tried to relax until an unreasonably loud discussion on the corner brought me to the window to sketch this:


Later that evening I found the energy to explore a can of Coke.


Thank you so much for visiting!!

See you later!!!




8 thoughts on “Getting Comfortable With Change

  1. Your music is fresh, skillful–excellent–and I hope you can stay engaged with it however ypu can. I am also a musician but long ago stopped making music but have made my peace with that. I thought you were primarily an artist but clearly you are multi-talented. I also have heart disease–had a heart attack at 51. I agree that to”go with the gut” can work well-0-I need to do that more, myself! Very good post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Cynthia! That means a great deal! I don’t know when the heart attack happened,(silent) but it revealed itself in an ekg I had to have in preparation for a back surgery. My father died at 54, and next week I turn 52. I am trying to take care of myself, going to school full time to change careers, from being a musician to a computer tech person, and it’s scary. I feel that my creativity is the one thing keeping me grounded. I hope you are taking good care of yourself. I am so happy that you communicated with me. I hope that we can communicate again. We “heart diseased” people have to stick together!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree with the creativity being the conduit for being present her and now, for maintaining strength of mind and spirit, and for bringing deep fulfillment. In the midst of much change, even more allow the energy work with and for you 🙂 Best regards

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much for those thoughts, Cynthia! Change can often throw off my center, staying creative is one of the main ways that I feel like I can regain and take control of my balance!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Good for you for listening to your need to create. It is so healing and centering to focus all you attention on creating something, and a relief from the stress of life. Thank you for sharing your sketches and music with us.

    Liked by 1 person

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